Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
