**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
