walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
