btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize