It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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