One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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