i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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