I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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