Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
