I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
