Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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