I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
