Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
