Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
