I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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