hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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