We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's like iHOP with fire
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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