dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sobbing to NWA
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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