Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I've blown a few things in my day
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
