Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
