Define "chronic" masturbator.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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