Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have aggressive nipples.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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