the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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