im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
