I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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