i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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