Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize