I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
