just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've blown a few things in my day
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
