Did you just see the Batmobile???
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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