I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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