can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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