I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
