She announced her abortion via fbk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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