How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
