K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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