When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
