they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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