I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
