I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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