her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
