you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
