jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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