Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
