can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
