My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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