So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
