She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
