Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
