uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
