Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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