It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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