Kiss
Puke
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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