worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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