You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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