This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
